How to Benefit from Conflict

The reason for conflict

Most of us desire quick solutions to our problems, but God wants to make sure that all his methods for character development in us are accomplished before he removes them. He’s also more concerned that the correct steps are followed in solving the problems than that they’re actually resolved. It’s the process of solving our problems that form the most significant chapters of our life and becomes the greatest help to other people. We want to get out from under the pressure of our problems, but God wants to use that pressure to motivate us to a greater level of spiritual maturity than we would have otherwise achieved. Often our present problems are the result of past disobedience to the initial promptings of the Holy Spirit. Now God is using these problems to apply the pressure we need for complete obedience. If we fail to gain these benefits from our present challenges he will only have to raise up new ones.

How to benefit

James 4:6 Tells us: “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Nothing is more humbling than experiencing conflicts we can’t solve, especially when others know about our problems. But it’s this very experience that God uses to break our pride and give us grace. God requires that each of us maintain a periodic program of self-examination. If we examine our own hearts we cultivate an environment for the development of inward qualities. If you would, think back to when you 12 or 13 yrs. Old, when you would wake up in the middle of the night with terrible growing pains in your legs. The pain from the growth was so bad that it would actually wake you from a deep sleep. It’s the same with any growth process whether it’s physical, mental or spiritual. It’s a shedding of the old and coming into the new.

The method can cause temporary pain but if endured will produce lasting character. I Corinthians 11:31-32 “But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment. When we are judged by the Lord, we’re being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world.” When things are going well for us we aren’t easily motivated to this activity. But when a major conflict arises and our spirit is grieved we have the most effective motivation to search out the inner motives, actions, words, and attitudes of our hearts. Proverbs 20:27 “The lamp of the lord searches the spirit of a man, it searches out his innermost being.” Proverbs 6:23 “For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life…” Proverbs 12:1 “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge. But he who hates correction is not wise.”

We can choose

We can choose to reject the growth process and go the usual route when conflict is thrust upon us. But, if we begin to ignore the problem as if it didn’t exist, we hinder the growth process from taking place. Romans 8:7 tells us; “The carnal mind is enmity against God” This is the common way of thinking and doing things. This manner of thinking will eventually lead to regret, frustration, fear, anger, and bitterness. This is because God is not a not a finite mind, but an infinite spirit. He doesn’t relate or make sense to the finite mind, yet because He’s a spirit he communicates directly to our spirit. If we operate daily from our spirit we’ll begin to experience life in a new way. In doing this we open ourselves to the supernatural.

Bringing it all together

In Conclusion, when conflict arises, anger is usually not far away. Anger stems from a need to be in control. The quickest way to get rid of the anger is to give up control. That’s it. Proverbs 16:7 tells us: “When a mans ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.” God uses conflict in our lives to build qualities within us. By allowing this process to take place we’re building lasting Character that will positively affect our lives. God uses relationships to reveal things to us that may need to change. Like a furnace purifying gold, He brings all of the impurities to the surface so that we may be purified and pleasing to Him. The next time you’re faced with a challenging situation, I encourage you to embrace the lessons to be learned. If we do this, we’ll be on our way to living healthy, victorious lives.